10 years ago today a massive blow hit my family. We woke up to find out our beloved and cherished Waleed was gone. My youngest brother, friend, confidante, my “son”, my guitarist, my jewel. Gone. Like dust in the wind. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember the crowds of people that flocked to our home for the love of Waleed. I remember my mother collapsed. I remember seeing my father sobbing like a baby for the very first time in my life. I remember sitting over his lifeless body in total shock and denial. And then it all went dark for a long long time.
My parents remained in denial for quite a while after the funeral. My father was the first to show signs of giving up. He turned off his music for good. No longer producing music or doing those things that would make us the first musical family in Ghana. Why should he anyway? Waleed was no more. His musical prodigy. The one he held closest to his heart. The one he was training to produce music and run his studio. Gone. And for my father, so was the music. Gone.
After battling his illness and state of mind my father left us 3 years later in 2008. These were the darkest times of our lives, presenting the deepest of voids that simply could not be filled. My mother remained in denial. Imagining that Waleed was away at school or maybe on holiday outside the country. She kept up appearances and continued to smile her pain away. It didn’t seem to work because as the years go by, as she looks in the mirror and sees a shadow of her former self, she begins to realize that time has no mercy. Tears ran down my cheeks as I watched her looking through photos with me on Waleed’s birthday. “10 years”, she said softly. “Oh Waleed, 10 years.” It hit me at that moment that no one but Waleed was her real true love. Not even my father. Her smile had begun to fade and I saw how much she needed me by her side. She had only now begun the grieving process for the love of her life.
My brother Waseem and I processed things differently. He became angry, and I withdrew from the world. I couldn’t find any joy in life at that time no matter how hard I tried. And then our babies came!! What new joy! The birth of our children must have turned things around for Waseem and I, even with each of us going through their own spiritual processes. I started making peace with those departed. My spiritual journey was leading me to understand that our departed loved ones are still around. Still loving us and even offering guidance at times.
We are all staying close to mum. Offering her support and love in her difficult times, and making sure she recieves even more love and healing from her grandkids. It is well. ♡